Compliment HER!!! 5 Rules for Complimenting your Date

Hello Gentlemen,

Long time no see! Valentine’s Day is coming up and I thought I’d dole out some more handy advice for you daters out there.

I would like to talk about the art of “the compliment”. Really, I think this deserves its own blog post because it is THAT important.

In the past, I remember dates and boyfriends that I had that couldn’t compliment worth a damn. They had no clue how to be around a girl and respectfully give a girl the compliment she deserves.

Because frankly, she DOES deserve at least ONE compliment if you’re dating her.

For example, I dated a guy back in the day that NEVER complimented me. Not even once! Probably dated for like a month and a half and it fizzled quickly. I felt like I couldn’t really be myself around him. I even would dress up even more, JUST so he could compliment me. I remember meeting him for a date and I remember a random guy in the street stopped in his tracks and just gawked at me. I looked that brilliant that day. Seriously. And what did my date say? “Wow, you look nice?” Nope, nada, zlitch, nothing.

I was dumbfounded. I literally stopped a guy in his tracks on the way to the date (and honey, I don’t pull that stunt often) and my date had nothing to say. I might as well wore a brown bag and called it a day.

If you want your date to CONTINUE dressing up for you, doing something different with her hair, compliment her!!!

Here’s how you do it.

1. Don’t Be Sappy

Don’t say “the twinkle in your eyes brings me hope of love blossoming….” or something creepy like that. No. You’ll just accomplish making her feel super awkward because no guy has ever said anything like that to her and she’ll probably think your foreign or something.

2. Keep it short, keep it sweet

Say something like, “you look really nice today”, “your eyes are beautiful” or “you look gorgeous”. Use the G-Word sparingly though. That’s pretty much the highest compliment you can give a girl.

3. Time it Right

Compliment her at the beginning of the date when you first see her. Compliment the dress, etc. And you can compliment her once in the conversation when it feels right, or during a romantic moment, like before/after a kiss. Don’t overdo it, you’ll embarrass her.

4. DON’T make it sexual!

Unless it’s for a  booty call, then whatever. But if you want this lady to stick around, don’t compliment her butt, boobs, legs, etc. If you’ve been dating for a while, then whatever. But for a the first couple of dates, keep it classy.

5. Keep it to 1-2 compliments a date

Don’t go on and on about how wonderful she is. Keep compliments 1-2 sentences once or twice a date.

If you want a girl to stick around, compliment her, because if you don’t, she’ll think you’re not interested and she’ll start doubting your feelings for her.

Until next time!

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The Ways a Girl Flirts

Hello Gentlemen,

Today we are going to talk about how a woman flirts and if she’s into you, and the reasons why she isn’t into you.

Let’s be pretty clear from the get-go, if a girl you meet at a house party, social event, twitter, etc. is talking to you, it doesn’t automatically mean she loves you and wants to have your babies.

Case in point:

One time I was at a friend’s house party, where I met a guy for the first time. He was nice enough, we talked about movies or something, I have no idea, and other people were talking to us. This guy and I weren’t alone together, I wasn’t even standing close to him and we were in an open space talking to other people. He was asking about my music career and I gave him my card. Just friendly chatting. He then later added me on Facebook, and chatted with me then proceeded to ask me for dinner.

I declined, as nicely as I could, and it all ended there.

I see how it can be hard for guys to see what went wrong here, but just to clarify, just because someone of the opposite sex is talking to you, doesn’t mean she likes you. Here’s how he could have seen I was not interested.

The Ways a Girl Flirts

1) Touch – When a girl is interested, she usually gravitates toward a guy. She’ll stand closer to him, she’ll laugh and touch his shoulder, she’ll do what she can to be in his bubble. She’ll touch his knee, etc. If a girl is standing far away from you, and not even attempting to touch you and looks like her body is positioned away from you while she’s talking, see where her body is positioned, because that’s what’s she’s more interested in (i.e. the fruit punch or the lesbian chick on the other side of the room).

2) Teasing – What a great way to flirt. When you engage in teasing of the opposite sex, it’s a safe way to test the waters and see how someone is attracted to you. If you’re laughing, teasing and you two grativate closer, it’s a very easy way to see how someone reacts to you. If the girl isn’t too interested, she probably won’t tease too much back, and won’t draw in closer to you.

3) Compliments – A girl will start complimenting a guy or show interest in what he does. Although, showing interest can be VERY tricky. Asking someone about their job and where they live is very platonic, and even though a girl can ask about these things, it can go both ways, she can very well be acting friendly and interested. How do you know she’s INTERESTED? She’ll probably start asking about your hobbies, what you do in your spare time. She’ll also engage in talking about other subjects: dating, what she’s doing on the weekend, movies, etc. The conversation can be a tricky place to gauge how much a girl likes you, so you have to look into Rules 1 and 2, if the conversation turns into teasing, and light touching, flirting is definitely in effect and the girl is interested in you.

4) Body Language – How the girl carries herself is telling as well. Is she touching her hair? Is her body facing yours? Is she smiling? Are her palms facing up? Is her head off to one side? To show interest, cocking your head to the side is a common signal. If a girl also lifts her arm, say to scratch the back of her head and exposes the underarm, this is a vunerable sign, meaning she is able to be vunerable around you. If she is standing with arms crossed, several feet away from you and her body is positioned to somewhere else in the room, I’d say it’s a fair guess she is not interested in you. Grooming is a typical sign a girl is interested, playing with hair, smoothing out clothes are common flirting signals.

So, what did we learn today, Gentlemen? Now you can refer to the previous example and see how I was NOT interested in the guy. I didn’t tease or compliment the guy. I didn’t get closer to him or show any flirting signals. I was just being polite and chatty. Girls talk, they’re polite and we’re brought up to be that way. Don’t get mad at us if you can’t read the signals. Just learn for next time, and it’ll be so clear when a girl IS into you. Girls also like to have male friendships. If she’s not really showing signs of attraction, she probably just wants to be a friend.

And there is the wild card… *when a girl doesn’t want you to know she likes you. Those situations, tread lightly and with more friendship and time, you will be able to see her true colors. And hey, great relationships take time, so take your time too when it comes to flirting.

🙂

*A lot of you guys have been commenting on the Wild Card, when a girl likes you but doesn’t want to show it, check out this post to find out more.