5 Reasons why the men of ‘Twilight’ and ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ are the same

Hello Gentlemen,

Today we’re gonna have some fun with romance books turned into movies and how they’re emulating through media. The Twilight movies were a hit amongst women, young and old. It wasn’t just for teenagers (I can attest to that!), but I’ve noticed strikingly similar themes between Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey that I wanted to point out to you guys. I’m not saying these themes are the end all of be all of how men should act towards women. No, some of these examples in real life AREN’T cool. Being obsessed with a girl and having no friends is not what healthy relationships are made of. This list is something interesting to look at as to what women fantasize about, but also what women shouldn’t really be liking when it comes to men, but ultimately, what is the core of what women want?

Let’s find out. Dust off your Twilight DVD and Fifty Shades of Grey paperbacks and let’s go on a journey…

 

1. The main male characters are utterly obsessed with the female main characters. Like “can’t-stop-thinking-about-her-crazy-stalker” obsessed.

Giphy.com
Giphy.com

Why do these men constantly think of the female characters? Women can obsess about men. Sorry, we do. We wonder when you’re gonna call us in the early stages of dating and thinking about guys is fun. What’s appealing to Twilight and FSOG is that these guys think about these girls all the time. They want to be around her and in a way, “control” her. Edward from Twilight is always “watching” Bella. Even when she can’t see him, he has an eye on her. That’s way stalkerish. There’s a fine line that can easily be crossed when a guy is “watching” a girl all the time. I guess it’s welcome when the girl LIKES the guy, but in REAL LIFE, that’s still a bit crazy to have a guy constantly know where you are. In Fifty Shades of Grey, Mr. Christian Grey likes to literally “control” his women. In the bedroom. But, he also likes to control where Anna works, and what she drives… and wears… Yeah, no. This is not flattering and your partner is not your father. Women don’t like to be told what to do, or what to wear, etc.

To Be or Not to Be: Not to be. Don’t obsess about your girl to the point that you want to control her. In real life, these fantasies cannot work. Let the girl be herself, do her own thing, but tell her that you think of her and miss her when she’s not around.

 

2. The main male characters have no friends…

Mr. Grey

Not only are Edward and Mr. Grey completely obsessed with their love interests respectively, they don’t really hang out with “the guys”. I can see on one hand this is appealing to most girls, and on the other hand, how this is very unhealthy for relationships. C’mon, girls, you know a “night out with the guys” could entail one of the single guys to enlist his friends to be his wingmen to get a girl. So, a guy going out with only guys could mean trouble, if they’re hitting on girls, drinking, partying, that kind of thing. Or maybe they all sit and watch football every Sunday and play videogames until the wee hours of the night. These behaviors aren’t too appealing to women (except if she’s just as into video games, Monday Night Football and helping your boys score), so, just eliminating that prospect all together is more romantic to women. They just want the guy to be focused on them, instead of ditching them for their nerdy friends for a weekend at Comic Con. Oh the horror!

But as much as a girl would love to get rid of her boyfriend’s douche friends, it’s quite important he HAS friends. It’s completely unhealthy to not have a social life outside of your love life. So, make friends, keep boys’ night a mystery to your girlfriend. Don’t do stupid things when your girl isn’t around.

The bottom line: Girls would love for men to get rid of their dumb friends, but guys, keep your friends. This is real life, not a movie.

 

3. They’re both young, rich, white and can fly.

www.comicvine.com
http://www.comicvine.com

I always thought Twilight was a little racist. Bella picked Edward, this rich, white dude, over Jacob, her best friend who was Native American and no where nearly as rich as Edward. Jacob was at least warm-blooded. Oh yeah, and if you’re a vampire, you’re gonna save a TON of money not eating food. Of course you’re gonna be loaded when you don’t eat food.

But besides the point, Edward doesn’t technically fly as he can jump like, up a huge tree. He’s supposed to be “17” but technically is like a hundred and something. But hey, plastic surgery and botox can do miracles.

Mr. Grey, he’s in his 20s, filthy rich, white and he flies his own helicopter. Anna doesn’t care that he can buy her clothes or a car, and insists that he doesn’t. Because she’s independent, you know. But he still buys her stuff and she accepts grudgingly. I totally HATE when guys buy me cars!

Bella and Anna insist that they love the man for who they are despite being a vampire/rich/good-looking. But those things do help.

Unfortunately, in America, this is the stereotype of the ideal male. Don’t throw rocks at me, because we ALL know the ideal woman. It’s thrown in our faces every day at the supermarkets. But these movies depict this stereotype of what women want.

It’s not all true, though. Being rich, young and non-prejudiced isn’t what ALL women want. Everyone wants something different. As beauty may not be your top priority when it comes to dating women, riches may not be their top priority either. Remember, these books/movies are stereotypes of a fantasy, and this example is pretty ridiculous. Don’t change yourself to try to be someone else’s ideal.

Besides, I was Team Jacob anyways.

 

4. They both want to hurt their loves but restrain themselves

www.boomtron.com
http://www.boomtron.com

This one is the most disturbing trait of all. Edward is a vampire, and like all vampires, he likes human blood. But he’s a “vegetarian” and doesn’t drink human blood. But, Bella, she’s so desirable… so he’s always fighting the urge to HURT her. He resists a few times, and gives her a few bruises another time. But it’s weird.

And Mr. Grey, well, that’s the whole S&M thing where he wants to dominate Anna, but he tries to be nice with her and not hurt her.

It’s disturbing how domestic violence has seeped into mainstream literature in a disguised way. These guys don’t get angry and want to beat up their girlfriends. But there is a level of fear these women have towards the men. Knowing that the men are strong enough to hurt them.

Women are afraid of men. We’re afraid that when we go on an online date, we’ll get kidnapped and be never seen again. I know women that won’t go online dating for this reason. Sometimes you never know who you’re dating, if they’re creepy and a serial killer. Who knows? I think these books/movies play into that fear of women. Kind of like a horror movie. We watch horror movies to deal with our own lives. Dating’s scary? Watch Fifty Shades of Grey.

This is quite a difficult topic, and there are definitely no clear lines drawn as to if this is a depiction of domestic violence to, just something kinky.

Just remember, guys, dating is not only difficult, but kinda scary sometimes to women. They’re afraid of getting hurt in more ways than one. We’re not terrified of men, but there are certain precautions ALL women have to take to protect themselves. That’s why, taking things slowly, is always the best way to start dating. Take your time so you both can trust each other.

 

5. They act like refined, sophisticated, mysterious gentlemen

refinery29.com
refinery29.com

There’s a scene in the first Twilight movie that really stuck out to me, and that I feel like embodies how most women would like to view their potential mate. There’s a scene where Bella is having lunch with her dad and the high school boys are outside the restaurant window, acting crazy. They’re in the windows, shaking their butts (this was before twerking), laughing, being loud, etc. Bella’s dad asks her if she likes any of those boys. She’s like, hell no. Haha. Of course not. And whenever Edward walks in, he’s quiet, mysterious, and doesn’t make an ass out of himself.

Same with Mr. Grey. He’s the businessman, and the vision of mystery. I read the 2nd book in the series and I still dunno what his deal is. WHY IS HE TORTURED??? WHY??? Mr. Grey acts professional, doesn’t blab about anything and gets stuff done.

Both of these men, even though they’re tortured and weird and all that, act like gentlemen. They don’t act super goofy and weird. They act very sophisticated and they’re mysterious because they don’t talk too much about themselves.

Here’s tips you should walk away with: When first dating a girl, this is the most mysterious you will ever be to her in a relationship. Before farting becomes the norm when you’re living together. Try to remain as mysterious as long as you can! Be honest about yourself, but there is absolutely no need to divulge your whole family history, your day-to-day work and all your favorite movies all in one go. Get to know her slowly, as your date will get to know you slowly. If you’re a funny guy, by all means, be funny. But act like a gentleman, open doors, pull out her chair. Your date WILL notice. Be chivalrous. Take tips from these men on how to present yourself. Dress well for your date. Cut your hair and trim your beard. Looking on point always helps.

 

Phew! That was a lot! We’ll see how these Fifty Shades of Grey movies pan out. These books have captivated the nation, if not the world, so there’s something going on here, and these men are very similar. They do play to certain female fantasies, but, not all fantasies play well in real life. Another thing I also noticed is that they both tilt their heads down and look up. Look at all the above pictures, they’re all doing the same pose. Just for kicks, try that out in a club. You could look super sexy, or super scary. See if it works! Hah!

Key Takeaways: Don’t give up your friends, don’t change who you are and be respectful of women. Dating is scary in more ways than one for women. Remember to act like a gentlemen, reveal yourself slowly and treat her like a lady.

 

Until next time!

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The Bad Boys Complex: Why girls like them, and how you can learn from them

Hello Gentlemen,

Today we’re going to dissect the anatomy of a “Bad Boy”, why girls are attracted to them, and how you can learn from them into being more attractive to girls.

First, we’ll start off with the science of “Bad Boy” attraction. There is actually a science to this (amazingly). Going back to the caveman, early ancestory of human beings, when shit hit the fan, who was more likely to survive? Say, a wooly mammoth was charging down a village of our ancestors, who would be most likely to survive? The guy that fights valiantly against the mammoth to save the village? The one that puts himself in front of his family to save the women and children? Or the douchebag that runs away while everyone else is fighting the beast?

It’s the douchebag. He survives, he knows how to save his thick skin by being selfish. Women know that, in some weird subconscious part of our brain, that the douchebag will survive because he knows how to save himself, and I guess we like the survivors. We want to breed with survivors (I know weird, but I analyze a lot of dating habits to evolution). Bad boys also have a look to them (hence why some girls LOVE Chris Brown, and I personally don’t get it at all…). They don’t look happy, they kind of slouch, and they walk in that dragging arms, puffing out chest manly walk that attracts the girls. The bad guy is dangerous, and mysterious…

And the mystery, gentlemen, is something you must use to your advantage.

I’m going to next illustrate my points with the ever to popular “Twilight” movies. Why? Because if you haven’t been living under a rock in the past few years, you KNOW girls like vampires and that movie is like, let me quote a famous bad boy, John Mayer here, “sexual napalm” for women.

If you’ve seen the movies, good for you, you’ll have a better understanding of what I’m going to describe, if you haven’t, don’t fret, my pet, I’ll explain for you.

Edward Cullen, or the “glittery” vampire is a classic example of what women find insanely attractive. He has the bad boy’s qualities, but besides being ridiculously handsome in his pasty, white make-up, it’s more about how he ACTS than how he LOOKs.

When people first get a glimpse of this vampire, there are key things to notice. He’s pretty quiet, he’s not smiling much, he stands tall, but not too tall, he’s calm, confident and well groomed. He’s not annoying at all. He acts very proper. Bella, the girl in the movie who is attracted to Edward, is instantly attracted. Well, why wouldn’t she? The other male examples in the movie are pretty much what you would see in ANY high school (or college, or work place or Cracked.com…) guys just acting like idiots. The two other guys vying for Bella’s attention (and failing miserably) ask her out on dates and she totally blows them off. The “other” guys are loud, obnoxious, and in one scene, one of them grabs a stick with the worm on the end and shows Bella the worm, like it’s the most hilarious thing to have a worm on a stick.

Um, no.

Being goofy with your pals, farting, joking around, jumping around, acting like a little kid, playing video games, being obsessed with “she’s hot!” and exclaiming to your single guy friends is not attractive to women.

See it this way, would you act that goofy and juvenile at a job interview? No, you have to bring your best “A” game. It’s the same with dating. A cool, calm, collected, confident gentleman is WAY hotter than a bumbling, annoying boy. The bad guy acts cool, and knows how to show his confidence, without throwing it in everyone’s face. The loud guy may be funny and entertaining, but at the end of the day, a girl wants a MAN not a BOY.

Edward Cullen exudes confidence, and also, he’s really into the girl. Now, I know he is an EXTREME example, all he does really is hang out with his family and pursue Bella. But, this kind of attention is appealing to girls. He’s not playing 5 hours of video games and hanging out with his frat boy friends, he’s devoted to her.

I know what you’re saying, “but I like my video games!” and “my friends are hilarious!”

I’m sure they’re all swell, and you don’t have to give them up for a girl. When you pursue a girl, when you are around her, give her attention, don’t let her come over and watch you play video games or hang out with your half-brained friends. That’s what “Guys Nights” are for. You can be silly and fart as much as you want, but keep that around your friends at first when you’re trying to “woo” that new girl.

By all means, PLEASE be yourself, but in the beginning, bring some mystery into the romance. Use movies like “Twilight” as visual cues. Dress well for your dates and understand that you don’t have to BE a bad boy to attract women, just use their tricks to do so. Don’t talk about yourself all night on the first date, remember to be confident in just being yourself. Groom yourself well, you want your date to regular bathe as well, right? Wear clothes that fit you well, smile, but don’t be a grinning idiot, and be calm.

If conversation fails, ask a question to get her to open up. Because Edward was all about pursuing her, not about how he drank himself into an oblivion and passed out while playing Halo. Pursue the girl and keep calm. You’ll get there.

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