It’s OK Being Single

Hello Gentlemen,

Long time no see! Today I want to talk to you about recovering from a break-up and why it’s a good idea to wait before jumping into a new relationship.

Let me tell you of a (horror)story. There was a man who was married with kids that had an extremely jealous wife. She was so jealous, he couldn’t even be caught talking to another woman. He suffered a while before divorcing her. Then he jumped into another marriage with another woman. Fast forward a bit and he went back to the former ex-wife after a death in the family. He is now back with the crazy ex-wife and he can’t even talk to women in person or over the phone AT ALL. His daughter also turned just as jealous as the mom.

I was told this was a great guy. I’m telling you guys this story so that you can avoid traps like these. You get into these traps when you can’t handle being alone, you don’t know how to take care of yourself, so you just jump into another relationship with a woman without getting to know her, but most importantly, without getting to know yourself.

You need a minimum of three months of not talking to your ex-girlfriend/wife after a break-up. After that, consider taking a year off after a long-term relationship that went bad before jumping into a new relationship.

“A year??? A whole year???” I hear you yelling at me. YES!!! ESPECIALLY if it was a LONG-TERM relationship. We’re talking 5+ years with a woman. You need time to get over her and LEARN what went wrong. Was she crazy? Were you crazy? Did you cheat on her? Did she cheat on you? Were you too trusting? Was she not around? You need to come to terms with what went wrong the relationship and learn more about who you are and what you want out of your NEXT relationship.

When I was online dating, unfortunately a lot of guys that contacted me JUST, like, JUST got out of a relationship, signed up on OKCupid and started messaging girls. They just could NOT be alone. A guy cancelled a date with me because he told me the night of that he had just broken up with a girlfriend of a few years a WEEK before. Seriously??? What are you doing online dating then? You need to be hanging out with your bros, not hitting up girls to boost your ego.

Don’t be that guy. Don’t go online dating and jumping into a relationship or heaven forbid, marriage right after a nasty break-up.

Just, forget about girls for a while. Focus on your job, do some volunteering. Grow up a bit. Clean up the pieces of your heart all over the floor before inviting another girl into that mess.

Because if you take the time to heal, you’ll be stronger, you’ll be aware WHAT a bad girl looks like and how to avoid her and you’ll increase the chances of finding someone better for you and stay in the new relationship longer.

Have a great weekend, Gentlemen.

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Don’t Go After the Bad Girl, Good Girls are Way Better

Hello Gentlemen,

There is something alluring about a bad girl. Something about how she doesn’t want to bend over your every beck and call and she’s challenging, a mind of her own.

But there’s a difference between a bad girl, and a spoiled brat.

Even then, both aren’t great for you, a lot of guys mistake the spoiled brat as some challenging, bad girl, when really, nothing satisfies her, she’s very negative and you’ll have to live with nagging for the rest of your life if you choose to be with her.

See? Not really alluring anymore, right?

Meanwhile, the good girls are sitting at home, wondering why guys aren’t calling her back… and you totally overlooked her thinking she wasn’t challenging enough and she was boring. Big mistake.

Yes, there are nice girls that are boring and never do anything fun, but there are a lot of good girls out there that are a lot of fun, but you’re too busy chasing the bad ones to even notice anything good.

There are a lot of bad girls who like to play the field, date multiple guys and get you entangled in their web. These girls are called:

The Black Widow: She probably has a boyfriend and likes to complain to you about how horrible he is. She may go out with you and do more, but she still can’t leave her loser, rockband, messy hair, doofus boyfriend and you hope if you just hold out long enough, you may grab her admiration by being the puppy loser you are, she’ll realize that you’re way hotter than her idiot boyfriend. Sorry to break it to ya honey, but she ain’t ever leaving that boy, and you’re the sad sap picking up your broken heart all over the floor. She’s the Black Widow, because she sucks the life out of you, and you don’t even have her as a girlfriend. Weaksauce.

The Bachelorette: Everyone’s telling you this girl is bad, bad, bad, but not in a good way. She doesn’t get along with other girls, she whines but she knows how to stroke your ego and make you feel like a big man on campus. She’s manipulative, she’s the girl in EVERY single season of The Bachelor. They pick this girl on purpose to mess with all the other girls and seduce the guy, and he unwittingly falls for her smokescreen. The reason she’s challenging and alluring??? She’s a total brat! It’s not that she’s independent and knows what she wants, she’s COMPLETELY insecure, she doesn’t know how to not get what she wants and doesn’t handle life gracefully at all. Her not being satisfied doesn’t mean she has excellent taste, it means nothing does ever satisfy her and she’s totally negative and if you stick with her, you got someone who will complain at everything and never be happy. Totally sucks for you, dude. (For visual examples, check out episodes from the last season of The Bachelor, yep, her name is Tierra “The Eyebrow”)

The Tease: You just met her, and right away she’s sitting on your lap. She’s talking to you in a very familar way, perhaps stroking your big arms, then she leaps up and trotts away. Thing is, she’s like this with ALL men, and you’re not the lucky one. The Tease loves attention, even when she doesn’t like the guy at all, she wants all men to find her desirable, because, guess what? She’s insecure, so to get her jollies, she will flirt with any male, even a cat, to show her dominance over men. The Tease is very noticable when you don’t even really know her last name and she’s already breathing down your neck. Next.

These bad girls are alluring because they flatter your ego, big time. They make you feel like a big man and they manipulate very well. The way to catch a bad girl is to notice how she first acts with you, if she’s throwing herself at you right away, if she talks about her loser boyfriend and complains, or if she complains about where you go out to dinner, how girls don’t like her, and nothing seems to make her happy, but you… run far, far away.

Because if you do snag on of these bad girls, may be fun for a little bit, but you just snagged a really negative, insecure person. There’s lots of good girls out there that don’t complain about any inconvenience in life, who are secure about who they are and are happy with life.

A good girl will have a life going on, she will have many girlfriends, she knows how to take the hard knocks in life, and she is very interesting… but you will have to get to know her to find that out.

Sorry I’ve been a bit MIA from this blog, please write any questions, comments on my blog and this will help me with future blog topics. Help me, help you!