I know you’re well aquainted with “the Friend Zone”. A place I know a lot of guys sometimes can’t crawl out of and default to when it comes to women. Today’s lesson, we’ll discuss what the “Friend Zone” is, what happens when you’re in it and how to get out and avoid it.
The “Friend Zone” is a place when you meet a woman and unexpectedly fall into, like a hole that opens up underneath your feet. You decide to be a “friend” to this woman and show her how “friendly” you can be by being there for her, listening to her and you hope if you wait long enough, she will see you for the dazzling guy you really are and come running to you with open arms…
In some cases, yes, this approach could work, but most times you’ve been trapped in the “Friend Zone” with no way out. *Cue Twilight Zone Music*
How did you fall into this mess anyways?
1. Lack of Physical Attraction – Sometimes, I hate to say it, it just comes down to attraction. If a girl is into you, she’ll get to know you as a person, but if the friendship continues for months, or when you hang out there is no touching, or she goes on and on about her crush/boyfriend, etc, you’re in the “Friend Zone”. If she has a boyfriend and keeps you around as a friend, and you REALLY like her, RUN, don’t walk, to the next girl. Just because her boyfriend is an asshole and you make her feel like she can truly be herself, it means she likes the attention from you, but she’s going home to the idiot boyfriend and not you. You’re just there for emotional support.
If she talks about other men she likes, she’s not into you, she just likes her ego stroked. She’s not attracted to you, plain and simple, and there are other foxy ladies that are into you, you just haven’t met them yet. So, for the love of sweet Jelly Beans, PLEASE MOVE ON. Don’t be the poor puppy that listens to her complain about her brain-dead boyfriend and stick around. If she wanted YOU she would be WITH you, not complaining to you.
2. You didn’t make the moves – Sometimes guys fall into the “Friend Zone” because they thought by being sweet and polite would get them an “in” with the special lady. But, if you don’t use your Casanova moves on her, she won’t think much of you and put you in the “Friend Zone” (wow, it’s annoying using quotes every time I say “Friend Zone”, I hope you appreciate the extra effort I put into these posts for you guys). A great way to test the waters with a girl, is using touch, a quick touch on the leg, a playful shove. If she likes you, she’ll lean in closer, or when you say goodbye, she’ll hug a little harder/longer and she’ll reciprocate by playfully touching you back. If she doesn’t touch you, or leans away from you, etc. she’s not interested. Although, sometimes, because you didn’t make any moves, she assumes you are not into her and she moves on. A girl knows pretty quickly within meeting a guy if she’s interested in him BUT her mind CAN be changed, when she learns more about his personality: he’s really funny or they share the same distate in liquorice jelly beans (AmIRight?), but this only has a shelf life of so long.
If you’ve known a girl for 10+ years and she’s NEVER made some kind of move on you and you always liked her, she probably doesn’t like you. She would make SOME kind of effort of playfully shoving you, or complimenting you or something. So, let dead horses lie or whatever they say and don’t crawl out of the “Friend Zone”, you’re already way in there.
3. You’re too “nice” – Nice can equal boring. This goes for both sexes. Boring to me is not being funny, witty or clever. You CAN be a nice guy, but BE INTERESTING. Go out and ride that motorcycle, go rock climbing, go to comedy shows, just have something to say to the girl. If the girl finds you boring, she’ll run off with another exciting guy. So, don’t sit there, staring at her like a zombie while she talks, be engaging and most importantly, have a life.
Once you’ve entered the “Friend Zone”. There are only options after (three if you want to also count by death), you either stay in the friend zone or move your way into “Not Friend Zone” and into some sort of relationship with the girl.
Don’t be upset if you do fall into the “Friend Zone”, just in the future learn how to stay away from it, or embrace it. Learn from your “girl” friends how to get other chicks, because understanding the female mind can work to your advantage.
Venture forth, Young Padawan, and may the odds be ever in your favor. :p