The Wild Card

Wild Card

Hello Gentlemen,

Wow, I had no idea “The Ways a Girl Flirts” would be such a popular post! Thank you. I don’t even think that’s the funniest post, my online dating post is my favorite in my opinion.

Now, to follow up on “The Ways a Girl Flirts”, a lot of guys have been mentioning “The Wild Card”. The Wild Card is when a girl likes you but doesn’t want you to know it because she doesn’t know if you like her.

So, this is what’s happening to the girl.

A girl has a crush on a guy, and probably thinks the guy is totally out of her league or it would create some drama if he knew and didn’t like her back. This scenario plays out most in the work space. I know it happened to me a long time ago…

Long long time ago, in a restaurant far far away… I had a crush on a co-worker. I thought he was way cute at the time, he was older, and I didn’t have a clue on how to act around him. This was typical of me when I had a crush on a guy. I didn’t want to show that I liked him, so I would act total opposite, I wouldn’t talk much and try to stay away.

Think about it, when you have a crush on someone, you’re probably staring at the person all googglied-eyed and could spend forever talking about some random topic, “the celery wasn’t my FAVORITE, but I definitely preferred the cucumber over the lettuce..” and make no sense, but saying ANYTHING to this person would make you blush.

So, obviously, you want to avoid the person so you don’t look like a total idiot. You refrain from talking to the person too much, and you don’t want to say anything stupid. You don’t want to be caught dreamily staring at the person, so what do you do?

Act cold.

You don’t talk, don’t look at them in the eye. Or, that’s what I would do in my case. Which didn’t work in my favor at all, because the guy would have no clue that I was dreaming about being in his arms. Awwww…

So, this can be VERY difficult for a guy to find out. Does the girl really find me repulsive or does she like me and is trying to hide it?

If a girl finds you repulsive, she’ll probably give you a weird face. Like, “don’t-look-at-me-you-pervert” face. If a girl is just intimidated by you, she’ll probably just cut her gaze short, look at the floor and act awkward. She’ll smile at you, but then walk away after an interaction because she’s nervous. Girls get super nervous around guys too! I know guys are all freaked out about asking a girl out, but girls can be so nervous around guys they like.

To be clear, if a girl doesn’t like you at all, she won’t smile at you, she won’t try to talk to you at all, she’ll just ignore you (and for some reason you guys LOVE that) and if she’s also giving you the stink-eye, yeah, she doesn’t really want to get to know you.

If she’s nervous, cutting her gaze short, smiling but then leaving quickly, looking at the floor, she just might like you, you devil, you.

How do you respond? Talk to her! If she likes you, she will light up and start chatting with you. If she doesn’t want to talk, see how she’s acting, pay attention to body language, and that will be your biggest clue.

Ok, gentlemen, I hope this clears up the mystery of “The Wild Card”.

Good luck!

The Ways a Girl Flirts

Hello Gentlemen,

Today we are going to talk about how a woman flirts and if she’s into you, and the reasons why she isn’t into you.

Let’s be pretty clear from the get-go, if a girl you meet at a house party, social event, twitter, etc. is talking to you, it doesn’t automatically mean she loves you and wants to have your babies.

Case in point:

One time I was at a friend’s house party, where I met a guy for the first time. He was nice enough, we talked about movies or something, I have no idea, and other people were talking to us. This guy and I weren’t alone together, I wasn’t even standing close to him and we were in an open space talking to other people. He was asking about my music career and I gave him my card. Just friendly chatting. He then later added me on Facebook, and chatted with me then proceeded to ask me for dinner.

I declined, as nicely as I could, and it all ended there.

I see how it can be hard for guys to see what went wrong here, but just to clarify, just because someone of the opposite sex is talking to you, doesn’t mean she likes you. Here’s how he could have seen I was not interested.

The Ways a Girl Flirts

1) Touch – When a girl is interested, she usually gravitates toward a guy. She’ll stand closer to him, she’ll laugh and touch his shoulder, she’ll do what she can to be in his bubble. She’ll touch his knee, etc. If a girl is standing far away from you, and not even attempting to touch you and looks like her body is positioned away from you while she’s talking, see where her body is positioned, because that’s what’s she’s more interested in (i.e. the fruit punch or the lesbian chick on the other side of the room).

2) Teasing – What a great way to flirt. When you engage in teasing of the opposite sex, it’s a safe way to test the waters and see how someone is attracted to you. If you’re laughing, teasing and you two grativate closer, it’s a very easy way to see how someone reacts to you. If the girl isn’t too interested, she probably won’t tease too much back, and won’t draw in closer to you.

3) Compliments – A girl will start complimenting a guy or show interest in what he does. Although, showing interest can be VERY tricky. Asking someone about their job and where they live is very platonic, and even though a girl can ask about these things, it can go both ways, she can very well be acting friendly and interested. How do you know she’s INTERESTED? She’ll probably start asking about your hobbies, what you do in your spare time. She’ll also engage in talking about other subjects: dating, what she’s doing on the weekend, movies, etc. The conversation can be a tricky place to gauge how much a girl likes you, so you have to look into Rules 1 and 2, if the conversation turns into teasing, and light touching, flirting is definitely in effect and the girl is interested in you.

4) Body Language – How the girl carries herself is telling as well. Is she touching her hair? Is her body facing yours? Is she smiling? Are her palms facing up? Is her head off to one side? To show interest, cocking your head to the side is a common signal. If a girl also lifts her arm, say to scratch the back of her head and exposes the underarm, this is a vunerable sign, meaning she is able to be vunerable around you. If she is standing with arms crossed, several feet away from you and her body is positioned to somewhere else in the room, I’d say it’s a fair guess she is not interested in you. Grooming is a typical sign a girl is interested, playing with hair, smoothing out clothes are common flirting signals.

So, what did we learn today, Gentlemen? Now you can refer to the previous example and see how I was NOT interested in the guy. I didn’t tease or compliment the guy. I didn’t get closer to him or show any flirting signals. I was just being polite and chatty. Girls talk, they’re polite and we’re brought up to be that way. Don’t get mad at us if you can’t read the signals. Just learn for next time, and it’ll be so clear when a girl IS into you. Girls also like to have male friendships. If she’s not really showing signs of attraction, she probably just wants to be a friend.

And there is the wild card… *when a girl doesn’t want you to know she likes you. Those situations, tread lightly and with more friendship and time, you will be able to see her true colors. And hey, great relationships take time, so take your time too when it comes to flirting.

🙂

*A lot of you guys have been commenting on the Wild Card, when a girl likes you but doesn’t want to show it, check out this post to find out more.