Avoiding the “Friend Zone”

Friends?
Friends?

Hello Gentlemen,

I know you’re well aquainted with “the Friend Zone”. A place I know a lot of guys sometimes can’t crawl out of and default to when it comes to women. Today’s lesson, we’ll discuss what the “Friend Zone” is, what happens when you’re in it and how to get out and avoid it.

The “Friend Zone” is a place when you meet a woman and unexpectedly fall into, like a hole that opens up underneath your feet. You decide to be a “friend” to this woman and show her how “friendly” you can be by being there for her, listening to her and you hope if you wait long enough, she will see you for the dazzling guy you really are and come running to you with open arms…

In some cases, yes, this approach could work, but most times you’ve been trapped in the “Friend Zone” with no way out. *Cue Twilight Zone Music*

How did you fall into this mess anyways?

1. Lack of Physical Attraction – Sometimes, I hate to say it, it just comes down to attraction. If a girl is into you, she’ll get to know you as a person, but if the friendship continues for months, or when you hang out there is no touching, or she goes on and on about her crush/boyfriend, etc, you’re in the “Friend Zone”. If she has a boyfriend and keeps you around as a friend, and you REALLY like her, RUN, don’t walk, to the next girl. Just because her boyfriend is an asshole and you make her feel like she can truly be herself, it means she likes the attention from you, but she’s going home to the idiot boyfriend and not you. You’re just there for emotional support.

If she talks about other men she likes, she’s not into you, she just likes her ego stroked. She’s not attracted to you, plain and simple, and there are other foxy ladies that are into you, you just haven’t met them yet. So, for the love of sweet Jelly Beans, PLEASE MOVE ON. Don’t be the poor puppy that listens to her complain about her brain-dead boyfriend and stick around. If she wanted YOU she would be WITH you, not complaining to you.

2. You didn’t make the moves – Sometimes guys fall into the “Friend Zone” because they thought by being sweet and polite would get them an “in” with the special lady. But, if you don’t use your Casanova moves on her, she won’t think much of you and put you in the “Friend Zone” (wow, it’s annoying using quotes every time I say “Friend Zone”, I hope you appreciate the extra effort I put into these posts for you guys). A great way to test the waters with a girl, is using touch, a quick touch on the leg, a playful shove. If she likes you, she’ll lean in closer, or when you say goodbye, she’ll hug a little harder/longer and she’ll reciprocate by playfully touching you back. If she doesn’t touch you, or leans away from you, etc. she’s not interested. Although, sometimes, because you didn’t make any moves, she assumes you are not into her and she moves on. A girl knows pretty quickly within meeting a guy if she’s interested in him BUT her mind CAN be changed, when she learns more about his personality: he’s really funny or they share the same distate in liquorice jelly beans (AmIRight?), but this only has a shelf life of so long.

If you’ve known a girl for 10+ years and she’s NEVER made some kind of move on you and you always liked her, she probably doesn’t like you. She would make SOME kind of effort of playfully shoving you, or complimenting you or something. So, let dead horses lie or whatever they say and don’t crawl out of the “Friend Zone”, you’re already way in there.

3. You’re too “nice” – Nice can equal boring. This goes for both sexes. Boring to me is not being funny, witty or clever. You CAN be a nice guy, but BE INTERESTING. Go out and ride that motorcycle, go rock climbing, go to comedy shows, just have something to say to the girl. If the girl finds you boring, she’ll run off with another exciting guy. So, don’t sit there, staring at her like a zombie while she talks, be engaging and most importantly, have a life.

Once you’ve entered the “Friend Zone”. There are only options after (three if you want to also count by death), you either stay in the friend zone or move your way into “Not Friend Zone” and into some sort of relationship with the girl.

Don’t be upset if you do fall into the “Friend Zone”, just in the future learn how to stay away from it, or embrace it. Learn from your “girl” friends how to get other chicks, because understanding the female mind can work to your advantage.

Venture forth, Young Padawan, and may the odds be ever in your favor. :p

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The Bad Boys Complex: Why girls like them, and how you can learn from them

Hello Gentlemen,

Today we’re going to dissect the anatomy of a “Bad Boy”, why girls are attracted to them, and how you can learn from them into being more attractive to girls.

First, we’ll start off with the science of “Bad Boy” attraction. There is actually a science to this (amazingly). Going back to the caveman, early ancestory of human beings, when shit hit the fan, who was more likely to survive? Say, a wooly mammoth was charging down a village of our ancestors, who would be most likely to survive? The guy that fights valiantly against the mammoth to save the village? The one that puts himself in front of his family to save the women and children? Or the douchebag that runs away while everyone else is fighting the beast?

It’s the douchebag. He survives, he knows how to save his thick skin by being selfish. Women know that, in some weird subconscious part of our brain, that the douchebag will survive because he knows how to save himself, and I guess we like the survivors. We want to breed with survivors (I know weird, but I analyze a lot of dating habits to evolution). Bad boys also have a look to them (hence why some girls LOVE Chris Brown, and I personally don’t get it at all…). They don’t look happy, they kind of slouch, and they walk in that dragging arms, puffing out chest manly walk that attracts the girls. The bad guy is dangerous, and mysterious…

And the mystery, gentlemen, is something you must use to your advantage.

I’m going to next illustrate my points with the ever to popular “Twilight” movies. Why? Because if you haven’t been living under a rock in the past few years, you KNOW girls like vampires and that movie is like, let me quote a famous bad boy, John Mayer here, “sexual napalm” for women.

If you’ve seen the movies, good for you, you’ll have a better understanding of what I’m going to describe, if you haven’t, don’t fret, my pet, I’ll explain for you.

Edward Cullen, or the “glittery” vampire is a classic example of what women find insanely attractive. He has the bad boy’s qualities, but besides being ridiculously handsome in his pasty, white make-up, it’s more about how he ACTS than how he LOOKs.

When people first get a glimpse of this vampire, there are key things to notice. He’s pretty quiet, he’s not smiling much, he stands tall, but not too tall, he’s calm, confident and well groomed. He’s not annoying at all. He acts very proper. Bella, the girl in the movie who is attracted to Edward, is instantly attracted. Well, why wouldn’t she? The other male examples in the movie are pretty much what you would see in ANY high school (or college, or work place or Cracked.com…) guys just acting like idiots. The two other guys vying for Bella’s attention (and failing miserably) ask her out on dates and she totally blows them off. The “other” guys are loud, obnoxious, and in one scene, one of them grabs a stick with the worm on the end and shows Bella the worm, like it’s the most hilarious thing to have a worm on a stick.

Um, no.

Being goofy with your pals, farting, joking around, jumping around, acting like a little kid, playing video games, being obsessed with “she’s hot!” and exclaiming to your single guy friends is not attractive to women.

See it this way, would you act that goofy and juvenile at a job interview? No, you have to bring your best “A” game. It’s the same with dating. A cool, calm, collected, confident gentleman is WAY hotter than a bumbling, annoying boy. The bad guy acts cool, and knows how to show his confidence, without throwing it in everyone’s face. The loud guy may be funny and entertaining, but at the end of the day, a girl wants a MAN not a BOY.

Edward Cullen exudes confidence, and also, he’s really into the girl. Now, I know he is an EXTREME example, all he does really is hang out with his family and pursue Bella. But, this kind of attention is appealing to girls. He’s not playing 5 hours of video games and hanging out with his frat boy friends, he’s devoted to her.

I know what you’re saying, “but I like my video games!” and “my friends are hilarious!”

I’m sure they’re all swell, and you don’t have to give them up for a girl. When you pursue a girl, when you are around her, give her attention, don’t let her come over and watch you play video games or hang out with your half-brained friends. That’s what “Guys Nights” are for. You can be silly and fart as much as you want, but keep that around your friends at first when you’re trying to “woo” that new girl.

By all means, PLEASE be yourself, but in the beginning, bring some mystery into the romance. Use movies like “Twilight” as visual cues. Dress well for your dates and understand that you don’t have to BE a bad boy to attract women, just use their tricks to do so. Don’t talk about yourself all night on the first date, remember to be confident in just being yourself. Groom yourself well, you want your date to regular bathe as well, right? Wear clothes that fit you well, smile, but don’t be a grinning idiot, and be calm.

If conversation fails, ask a question to get her to open up. Because Edward was all about pursuing her, not about how he drank himself into an oblivion and passed out while playing Halo. Pursue the girl and keep calm. You’ll get there.

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