5 Reasons why the men of ‘Twilight’ and ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ are the same

Hello Gentlemen,

Today we’re gonna have some fun with romance books turned into movies and how they’re emulating through media. The Twilight movies were a hit amongst women, young and old. It wasn’t just for teenagers (I can attest to that!), but I’ve noticed strikingly similar themes between Twilight and Fifty Shades of Grey that I wanted to point out to you guys. I’m not saying these themes are the end all of be all of how men should act towards women. No, some of these examples in real life AREN’T cool. Being obsessed with a girl and having no friends is not what healthy relationships are made of. This list is something interesting to look at as to what women fantasize about, but also what women shouldn’t really be liking when it comes to men, but ultimately, what is the core of what women want?

Let’s find out. Dust off your Twilight DVD and Fifty Shades of Grey paperbacks and let’s go on a journey…

 

1. The main male characters are utterly obsessed with the female main characters. Like “can’t-stop-thinking-about-her-crazy-stalker” obsessed.

Giphy.com
Giphy.com

Why do these men constantly think of the female characters? Women can obsess about men. Sorry, we do. We wonder when you’re gonna call us in the early stages of dating and thinking about guys is fun. What’s appealing to Twilight and FSOG is that these guys think about these girls all the time. They want to be around her and in a way, “control” her. Edward from Twilight is always “watching” Bella. Even when she can’t see him, he has an eye on her. That’s way stalkerish. There’s a fine line that can easily be crossed when a guy is “watching” a girl all the time. I guess it’s welcome when the girl LIKES the guy, but in REAL LIFE, that’s still a bit crazy to have a guy constantly know where you are. In Fifty Shades of Grey, Mr. Christian Grey likes to literally “control” his women. In the bedroom. But, he also likes to control where Anna works, and what she drives… and wears… Yeah, no. This is not flattering and your partner is not your father. Women don’t like to be told what to do, or what to wear, etc.

To Be or Not to Be: Not to be. Don’t obsess about your girl to the point that you want to control her. In real life, these fantasies cannot work. Let the girl be herself, do her own thing, but tell her that you think of her and miss her when she’s not around.

 

2. The main male characters have no friends…

Mr. Grey

Not only are Edward and Mr. Grey completely obsessed with their love interests respectively, they don’t really hang out with “the guys”. I can see on one hand this is appealing to most girls, and on the other hand, how this is very unhealthy for relationships. C’mon, girls, you know a “night out with the guys” could entail one of the single guys to enlist his friends to be his wingmen to get a girl. So, a guy going out with only guys could mean trouble, if they’re hitting on girls, drinking, partying, that kind of thing. Or maybe they all sit and watch football every Sunday and play videogames until the wee hours of the night. These behaviors aren’t too appealing to women (except if she’s just as into video games, Monday Night Football and helping your boys score), so, just eliminating that prospect all together is more romantic to women. They just want the guy to be focused on them, instead of ditching them for their nerdy friends for a weekend at Comic Con. Oh the horror!

But as much as a girl would love to get rid of her boyfriend’s douche friends, it’s quite important he HAS friends. It’s completely unhealthy to not have a social life outside of your love life. So, make friends, keep boys’ night a mystery to your girlfriend. Don’t do stupid things when your girl isn’t around.

The bottom line: Girls would love for men to get rid of their dumb friends, but guys, keep your friends. This is real life, not a movie.

 

3. They’re both young, rich, white and can fly.

www.comicvine.com
http://www.comicvine.com

I always thought Twilight was a little racist. Bella picked Edward, this rich, white dude, over Jacob, her best friend who was Native American and no where nearly as rich as Edward. Jacob was at least warm-blooded. Oh yeah, and if you’re a vampire, you’re gonna save a TON of money not eating food. Of course you’re gonna be loaded when you don’t eat food.

But besides the point, Edward doesn’t technically fly as he can jump like, up a huge tree. He’s supposed to be “17” but technically is like a hundred and something. But hey, plastic surgery and botox can do miracles.

Mr. Grey, he’s in his 20s, filthy rich, white and he flies his own helicopter. Anna doesn’t care that he can buy her clothes or a car, and insists that he doesn’t. Because she’s independent, you know. But he still buys her stuff and she accepts grudgingly. I totally HATE when guys buy me cars!

Bella and Anna insist that they love the man for who they are despite being a vampire/rich/good-looking. But those things do help.

Unfortunately, in America, this is the stereotype of the ideal male. Don’t throw rocks at me, because we ALL know the ideal woman. It’s thrown in our faces every day at the supermarkets. But these movies depict this stereotype of what women want.

It’s not all true, though. Being rich, young and non-prejudiced isn’t what ALL women want. Everyone wants something different. As beauty may not be your top priority when it comes to dating women, riches may not be their top priority either. Remember, these books/movies are stereotypes of a fantasy, and this example is pretty ridiculous. Don’t change yourself to try to be someone else’s ideal.

Besides, I was Team Jacob anyways.

 

4. They both want to hurt their loves but restrain themselves

www.boomtron.com
http://www.boomtron.com

This one is the most disturbing trait of all. Edward is a vampire, and like all vampires, he likes human blood. But he’s a “vegetarian” and doesn’t drink human blood. But, Bella, she’s so desirable… so he’s always fighting the urge to HURT her. He resists a few times, and gives her a few bruises another time. But it’s weird.

And Mr. Grey, well, that’s the whole S&M thing where he wants to dominate Anna, but he tries to be nice with her and not hurt her.

It’s disturbing how domestic violence has seeped into mainstream literature in a disguised way. These guys don’t get angry and want to beat up their girlfriends. But there is a level of fear these women have towards the men. Knowing that the men are strong enough to hurt them.

Women are afraid of men. We’re afraid that when we go on an online date, we’ll get kidnapped and be never seen again. I know women that won’t go online dating for this reason. Sometimes you never know who you’re dating, if they’re creepy and a serial killer. Who knows? I think these books/movies play into that fear of women. Kind of like a horror movie. We watch horror movies to deal with our own lives. Dating’s scary? Watch Fifty Shades of Grey.

This is quite a difficult topic, and there are definitely no clear lines drawn as to if this is a depiction of domestic violence to, just something kinky.

Just remember, guys, dating is not only difficult, but kinda scary sometimes to women. They’re afraid of getting hurt in more ways than one. We’re not terrified of men, but there are certain precautions ALL women have to take to protect themselves. That’s why, taking things slowly, is always the best way to start dating. Take your time so you both can trust each other.

 

5. They act like refined, sophisticated, mysterious gentlemen

refinery29.com
refinery29.com

There’s a scene in the first Twilight movie that really stuck out to me, and that I feel like embodies how most women would like to view their potential mate. There’s a scene where Bella is having lunch with her dad and the high school boys are outside the restaurant window, acting crazy. They’re in the windows, shaking their butts (this was before twerking), laughing, being loud, etc. Bella’s dad asks her if she likes any of those boys. She’s like, hell no. Haha. Of course not. And whenever Edward walks in, he’s quiet, mysterious, and doesn’t make an ass out of himself.

Same with Mr. Grey. He’s the businessman, and the vision of mystery. I read the 2nd book in the series and I still dunno what his deal is. WHY IS HE TORTURED??? WHY??? Mr. Grey acts professional, doesn’t blab about anything and gets stuff done.

Both of these men, even though they’re tortured and weird and all that, act like gentlemen. They don’t act super goofy and weird. They act very sophisticated and they’re mysterious because they don’t talk too much about themselves.

Here’s tips you should walk away with: When first dating a girl, this is the most mysterious you will ever be to her in a relationship. Before farting becomes the norm when you’re living together. Try to remain as mysterious as long as you can! Be honest about yourself, but there is absolutely no need to divulge your whole family history, your day-to-day work and all your favorite movies all in one go. Get to know her slowly, as your date will get to know you slowly. If you’re a funny guy, by all means, be funny. But act like a gentleman, open doors, pull out her chair. Your date WILL notice. Be chivalrous. Take tips from these men on how to present yourself. Dress well for your date. Cut your hair and trim your beard. Looking on point always helps.

 

Phew! That was a lot! We’ll see how these Fifty Shades of Grey movies pan out. These books have captivated the nation, if not the world, so there’s something going on here, and these men are very similar. They do play to certain female fantasies, but, not all fantasies play well in real life. Another thing I also noticed is that they both tilt their heads down and look up. Look at all the above pictures, they’re all doing the same pose. Just for kicks, try that out in a club. You could look super sexy, or super scary. See if it works! Hah!

Key Takeaways: Don’t give up your friends, don’t change who you are and be respectful of women. Dating is scary in more ways than one for women. Remember to act like a gentlemen, reveal yourself slowly and treat her like a lady.

 

Until next time!

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Don’t be a Creeper: How to not be a Creep

Don't be a creep!
Don’t be a creep!
But I’m a creep
I’m a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don’t belong here

She’s running out the door
She’s running
She runs runs runs runs
Runs
– Radiohead

Hello Gentlemen,

By now you must know what a “creep” is. But just in case you don’t, I’m going to spell it out for you.

creep (krp)
intr.v.crept (krpt), creep·ing, creeps

1. The act of creeping; a creeping motion or progress.
2. Slang An annoyingly unpleasant or repulsive person.
3. A slow flow of metal when under high temperature or great pressure.
4. A slow change in a characteristic of electronic equipment, such as a decrease in power with continued usage.
5. Geology The slow movement of rock debris and soil down a weathered slope.
6. creeps Informal A sensation of fear or repugnance, as if things were crawling on one’s skin: That house gives me the creeps.

Let’s dissect point number two, “an annoyingly unpleasant or repulsive person”. This is what you come across, gentlemen, when you approach a girl unwantingly.

Every girl has grown up with catcalls from the local gardener, or a group of guys staring at her when she walks by. Whenever a girl goes into a club, there’s always a chance a body part of hers will be grabbed. There are guys that geuninely are creepers, losers of society that can’t get a date because they’re so weird and creepy.

But normal guys, can turn into creepers unwittingly. If they lose their confidence in dating, if they act dumb when talking to a girl. Check out the movie, Tucker & Dale vs. Evil. The whole movie starts off with Dale talking to a girl and acting so creepy that the girl and her college friends automatically assume he’s a serial killer with his awkwardness. Now, this movie is an extreme example… well, maybe not. Girls do have to watch out for their own safety, and if you come across as a reclusive loser, she’s not going to want to look at you, let alone date you.

So, Ted Bundy, what to do with you?

How Not to be a Creep

1. Have confidence.

Confidence is always king. Confidence excudes from within by the manner in which you speak, hold yourself up, and how you respect others around you. Check your posture right now. Are you slouched over? Are you holding your head up high? How do you speak to others? Are you quiet and meek? Or do you speak clearly and with power? How do you respect others? Are you scowling and bitching to your co-workers and peers or are you generous with a smile? Confident men hold themselves tall by standing straight, looking at a person in the eyes while talking, using their name, being polite and speaking with purpose. A creep is hunched over, mumbling to his make-believe friends and staring at girls when no one is talking to him.

2. Get a Life

Following Step 1 is Confidence, Step 2 is Get a Life. You get confidence with being proud of who you are and what you do. Are you happy with your job? Your weight? Your social life? Do you love your friends? Your family? Do you have a purpose to fulfill in this world? You need to heed your calling and follow it. Be a man, do your job well, treat others with respect. Look at Superman. He’s confident, because he knows he’s strong, can beat up anyone and can fly. Well, you can’t fly, but you can be confident in your abilities and your strengths. You’re busy fighting the good fight, saving the world, doing Zumba, whatever you do, be proud of it and do it well.

3. Don’t wallow in your misery

Don’t be like the Garbage singer and proclaim, “I’m only happy when it rains”. Don’t be that guy that looks on the bad side of life. Strong men are positive, not negative nancies. You sissy. No, you’re a strong man, you believe you will live life to the fullest and get the girl… but you only get the girl when you’re a complete man yourself. If you’re a mess and expect the girl to clean up after you… well, it’s only going to fall apart. With your clothes being thrown out of the third floor window because you, “are a stinking loser, you jerk”. Yep, that’s what your future girlfriend will say. Avoid that by being positive. Smile. Don’t approach to a girl by going up to her and staring at her while making her uncomfortable. No, you’re better than that. You don’t say cheesy pick up lines, you are yourself, because you’re cool, damnit.

4. Respect the Girl

Girls are not aliens. I know we look different, and we are not obsessed with Call of Duty (ok, maybe there are some girls that are, but I don’t know of any, and good for them, girls rule!) Girls are people, just like you, and like to talk about… stuff. They like to have fun, and they are attracted to men who groom themselves well and know how to carry a conversation. They don’t like guys grabbing them unwantingly or staring at them from the other side of the dance floor. Or dropping their jaws when she walks by. If you hold your composure when other guys can’t, you’re already ahead of the pack. You not unfazed by that beautiful girl, no. You know her mind is different from her striking eyes and she wants to be listened to and engaged in good conversation.

So, men, heed my advice, and try not to creep. 🙂 You’ll be just fine.