Hello Gentlemen!
Today we’re going to talk about something that I know you all have nightmares about. One of life’s scariest undertakings which usually make you grab your teddy in fear and hide under the covers.
Yes, today, we’re going to talk about how to break-up with a girl.
It’s ok, really. We’re gonna get through this. I’ll show you how.
First, let’s establish the relationship. Have you just gone on a few dates? Is this a long term relationship? Depending on the length of the relationship, will determine what kind of proper break-up you will need. Also, it depends if it’s been a nice going relationship or a turbulent one. If you’ve been in a violent, abusive relationship, you will need a restraining order in addition to breaking up with the girl at a safe distance.
But, assuming this is a normal relationship, things didn’t work out and you’re having trouble cutting the cord, here’s how you proceed.
If you’ve only had a few dates: You’ve only had one date or maybe 4 dates with the girl. It’s not working out, you don’t see a long term thing with her, or you’re hung up on you ex and not ready to have a new relationship, whatever the reasonings are, you need to end things with the girl.
If you only had ONE date with the girl, it’s fine to end things through a text message. This actually happened to me once, and I thought it was really the most nicest way a guy to end things. After one date, he texted me that he didn’t want to continue things with me, he needed to be single, but he thought I was nice and enjoyed the date. I wasn’t really feeling him that much either, but it was sweet for him to gently end things. It’s truly, truly frustrating for a girl to wait around for the guy to call/text you for a second date. And if she was really into you, those hours, days can be like torture. If you don’t want to see her again, she can’t argue with a nice text where you ended things nicely. You need to:
– Give her a reason you don’t want to continue with the relationship (I need to be single, hung up on my ex, we’re looking for different things)
– Tell her something nice about herself (she was generous, funny, had a nice first date, enjoyed talking with her)
– And say good bye, maybe you don’t want to remain friends with her, and if you don’t, don’t say you will. Just thank her for her time.
Doing this will:
–Increase your good karma. It’s good to treat others with respect, and if you treat these girls like a good guy, than she won’t have to deal with ANOTHER bad guy. Because what goes around, comes around.
If you’ve been dating this girl for a few months or long term: You need to break up in person. I know, it’s tough. Crying sucks, break-ups suck. But you need to do it. She’ll cry (or won’t, maybe you’ll cry) but you need to handle this like a man and break up in person. Similar rules apply to the advice above, but now timing is much more important.
Don’t break up with a girl:
-On her birthday
-On Valentine’s Day, New Year’s Eve, or any other big holiday.
– Right before or during her graduation (or a similar big day, like a show she’s performing in, etc. She has to focus on something else besides her relationship and it’ll also ruin that big day for her)
Just wait a day or so when these events are over, also if someone close to her dies, just wait a week before breaking up.
When breaking up, you need to find a quiet space so you two can talk together. Be calm and tell her why things aren’t working out and why you need to move on. She may argue, cry, try to win you back, but if you know it’s for the better, remain calm and be strong. After breaking up, leave. Don’t linger, don’t hang around and definitely don’t keep seeing her after the fact.
You need at LEAST three months apart. That means no text messaging, no calling, no seeing each other in person. If you have similar friends, avoid each other. You need that time to move on so you don’t just get back together just because you miss each other. You have to stick to this rule. You both won’t be able to move on if you keep seeing each other.
After three months, you may attempt to be friends, but usually, that’s a tough case and you may not want to be friends. Give yourself and her some time to move on before crossing that bridge.
Phew! Not such a fun topic! But I hope that helps you guys. Be a gentleman and treat the girl with respect and end things graciously and you’ll have an easier time in life.
Until next time!
The Single Guys Guide to Dating 