The 3 Day and 7 Day Rules, What’s Bogus About Them?

Hello Gentlemen,

As you may have heard from popular culture, there are a few rules in which you should wait to contact a girl so you don’t look “desperate”. The 3-Day Rule occurs when a male meets a female for the first time (usually a bar, cooking class or animal farm) and the male procures the female’s phone number. After the initial meeting, the male waits three business days to call the female, because he doesn’t want to look too eager. The female is aware of this rule, and she is annoyed but deals with it anyways and anxiously awaits his call.

The 7 Day Rule, is usually after the male and female embark on their first date. Even if the male enjoyed the outting with the female, he proceeds to wait 7 days (flashbacks of The Ring, anyone?) and then calls the girl for a second date, or to chat, or whatever guys do after 7 days of wasted time @_@. The “Rules” are typically posted in male magazines and male-centered websites such as Men’s Health Magazine and

Girls are onto these rules. All it takes is a Google search of, “why isn’t he calling me?” to find all the glorious male rules of dating. So, girls just wait, or move on, because if he was REALLY into me, he would be calling me right?

The problem with these stupid rules, is if you DO actually make a great connection with this girl you lose momentum when you fail to follow up with her. The 3 Day Rule is bearable, annoying, but bearable. Usually I chalk up the wait to “he’s just busy”, but if popular culture hasn’t already told me, is that the book “He’s Just Not That Into You” explains if a guy WAS that into me, he’d be calling me and I would know he likes me.

If you truly have a great time with a girl, following up the next day or 2nd day after is fine. If she likes you, you will be on her mind and she’ll be excited to hear from you. When you do contact the girl again, don’t blow up her phone with several messages, just ask how her day is going and be short and sweet, or say you had a great time meeting her. The only time I would get annoyed if a guy contacts me is if he was constantly texting me mundane information like, “hey, I’m getting on the bus right now, what are you doing???” BO-RING! It’s kind of like you’re bored and passing the time by texting people. I personally just like a couple of messages, but I don’t like going back and forth for a long time, I rather just talk on the phone. I also don’t like when guys are vague.

The most annoying text a guy can send me is “hey”. It’s like, I have to do the work and ask how YOU’RE doing when you were the one you texted me in the first place. Write a sentence if you are going to text a girl, not one word hieroglyphics.

And yes, it IS ok to contact her before the 3 Days are up, because if she likes you, she will want to hear from you. I think waiting 24 hours is long enough time to contact a girl. If she is annoyed of it, perhaps she’s just not that into YOU, and waiting longer isn’t going to make you that much more appealing.

The 7 Day Rule is even MORE infuriating. After you have a fabulous date with a guy, he’s MIA for a whole week? Even on SUNDAY??? What men’s magazines will tell you is completely nuts. If she REALLY likes you, a week won’t be a problem and it weeds out the girls that really like you from the ones that don’t. Because the ones that don’t like you won’t wait a week, but the ones that do, REALLY like you.

This is how that concept is totally wrong. Remember how I told you about “He’s Just Not That Into You”? Well, most girls are familiar with that book, and with that book, it states that if a guy likes you, he’ll be calling you and not making you wait around making you wonder. So, popular culture is telling girls that if the guy doesn’t call, he’s just not that into her. Girls get turned off by the 7 Day Rule. Well, he must not really like me, because he’s waiting a whole week. You know the girls that will still date you after 7 Days? The ones that don’t give a crap about you. The ones that weren’t mad at all because you weren’t on her mind either because she was probably dating other guys to notice you were gone, and was like, why the hell not? I’ll see this douche again.

And yeah, it COULD work, but it’s plain rude. I don’t believe you were THAT FLIPPING BUSY to not even send one text before bedtime, or during lunch. Because if you’re THAT busy, hell, you shouldn’t even be dating at all! Why are you even wasting time reading this blog? Get back to your busy life already! We know you can’t be that busy to not contact at all. So, there’s two options, you’re not that into the girl or you’re playing a game.

And if you’re playing a game, you’re just setting the relationship on bad terms. Depends on what your goals are, but if you’re looking for Ms. Right, she’s not gonna want to play games with you. If she REALLY likes you, she won’t be turned off at all hearing from you sooner or later, because she’ll be excited to hear from you at all. You don’t have to text EVERY DAY or several times a day, that’s not what I’m saying. Being SLIGHTLY sporadic is fine, because it’s a little mysterious, yes.

I knew one guy that followed the 3 Day Rule to a T. He would wait three days to contact me everytime. Really delayed things in our relationship and I was feeling like he didn’t like me. A year later, I found out through a mutual friend he thought I didn’t like him that much either, which couldn’t have been further from the truth, I was crazy about him, but since we didn’t see each other much or get to talk much, things went downhill. Pretty sad to learn the truth a year later from someone else. We did like each other, but communication definitely went south.

So, communicate with the girl! Don’t let a good one get away!

21 thoughts on “The 3 Day and 7 Day Rules, What’s Bogus About Them?

    1. Haha, well, I’m surprised you haven’t heard of these rules, but it’s kind of good you didn’t have to deal with crap that’s on the internet about dating. @_@

  1. “The rules” are lame. There should be no rules unless a game is being played. Relarionships and dating isnt a game, thus no need for rules. Men! I swear. Cant live with em, can’t bury em in the backyard 🙂

  2. you girls are are assuming way too much because a guy calls or doesn’t call. about if he likes you or not. i have been dating for awhile and girls you need to to the work like you said why should do all the while guys get tired of doing all work.

    1. Well, if a girl likes a guy and he doesn’t call for a while, she’s going to wonder why he’s taking so long to call. If it was reversed, you’d probably be wondering why it took a girl a week to call you back. Guys need to put the effort in because they have to prove themselves to the women. If you want a dominant woman to call all the shots while you follow along, then by all means, wait for her to call you.

  3. Love this blog post! Funny and true!! I’ve been Tinder-ing lately and I’ve had all of these same thoughts in my dealings with men. The games are totally stupid. If you had a great date with a lady, shoot her a quick text saying so, either later that night or the next morning. It will take approximately 2 minutes out of your busy day and even if she isn’t into you, I’m sure she’ll appreciate knowing that you thought highly enough of her to say thank you for the date. If you don’t say anything for a week, then (if she’s anything like me) she’ll be freaking out and wondering what went wrong (did her breath smell? did you hate her hairdo? did she laugh too much? etc.). And yes–if you’re too busy to communicate with the people you’re dating, you shouldn’t be dating! Dating is give and take–not just take take take.

  4. This is a stupid rule! I met a guy last night, and we seemed to really hit it off in conversation. He gave me a very nice goodbye hug too. Now, the next day he hasn’t called and I’m assuming it’s the freaking 3-day rule operating. If only I could tell him that if he is itching to talk to me, as I am him, he should not worry about this rule which is making me feel like maybe he didn’t like me that much after all.

    1. Yeah, my assumption is that guys don’t want to look too desperate or too eager and try to play it cool. Which, we ladies know is annoying! Lemme know how long it takes for this guy to call/text you…

  5. As a guy, the whole idea about rules is alien to dating as far as Im concerned. If I feel like calling, I will. If I dont, I wont. It’s not that complicated. Why would I force myself to wait despite wanting to make the call? Why would anyone defy their own intuition for some generalized “rule?”

  6. This post was so helpful! I just went on a date 2 days ago on Friday, and it went so well. We talked a lot at dinner and even had a goodbye make out session. Since it was a first date I was going to use the 3 day rule and wait til Monday or Tuesday to call but after reading this I think I will call tonight. I think she is probably itching to hear from me just as much as I am. 🙂

      1. Honestly, if you were making out on the first date and then she went MIA, you’re better off knowing now than later. Not a match. Unfortunately you meet a lot of duds before the right one comes along. And better to cut your losses sooner than later. Let me know if you have any other questions.

      2. That’s very true. I’d rather be cut off on a first date then the third. Thanks for the positive encouragement! I appreciate it 🙂

  7. I had a date which went extremely well. We ended up having great sex. She wanted me to call her for another date, so I told her that I will call her in one week since our schedules were pretty full for the next couple of days. She seemed ok with it. Then after a week, as promised, I called. But she didn’t pick up the phone and never replied to my text message.

    1. Ugh. You took too long, especially after having sex! A simple “hey, happy friday” or anything right after seeing her again would’ve told her your’e still interested. Even if she agreed with you about the one week, she probably only did so because she didn’t want to be the one who seemed to be desperate, and she just politely agreed with you. I think she cancelled you out the moment you suggested that one week reply.

    2. I think the key word here is she “seemed” ok with it. She wasn’t going to get mad at you at that point in time. Also, from your message it sounded like a first date. Having sex on the first date can back-fire, as you’re getting intimate really soon. I’m not trying to sound like a prude, but in the roller-coaster of courtship, it’s like going on Space Mountain first thing in the morning at Disneyland and there are no other rides you’re looking forward to riding anymore. What I’m trying to say is, try to wait a little bit before going all in on a first date, because you do want to build tension, and wanting, even on her side, believe it or not. Also, don’t wait a week to call. If it was that great of sex, you should be calling her within a day or two. She probably thought you weren’t that interested and she didn’t have time for you anymore. And, who knows? Maybe she was into other dudes, keep yourself on her radar next time.

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