Your Online Dating Profile: What Stays and What Must Go

Hello Gentlemen,

Online dating can feel like swirling in the abyss, your profile is out there for all to see and your shining face to be scrutinized by all the onlookers.

How do you write your profile to not sound like a sales ad, but also to show your outstanding personality and deviant witty charm?

First off, with most online dating sites you’ll have a basic profile. This is pretty standard where you can write a few paragraphs about yourself. Don’t start off with a quote, or write about yourself in the 3rd person UNLESS you write some funny “referrals” from your friends like, “The smartest guy I know, he’s amazing with dogs.” (yeah, I know that’s kind of a lame quote, but bear with me here). Those kind of funny quotes shows that you don’t take yourself too seriously. It’s good to write what your interests are and it’s fine to write a little bit.

Some girls will complain if it’s too long, I say screw those girls, because writing more, not less shows to me your: writing style (Are you literate? This is an important, crucial quality for some women), how you talk (are you funny? serious? crazy?), are you interesting? (will you be a boring date?). The girls that complain you write too much are probably: illiterate (and you want a girl that can read, right?), only into herself (and you want her to be into you as well, AmIRight?), not that interesting herself (and you want a girl with a life).

So, feel free to write about your interests, TV shows you like, that you like hiking, riding your motorcycle, etc. Lists are ok… to a point, don’t make your whole profile about lists, makes you look way too picky.

Things to Avoid:

Sometimes it’s good to say what you like/dislike in a girl. But what can be really weird is if you’re very specific, such as saying you only like girls with short hair and if you go on a date with a girl with long hair, just kind of makes her feel like you don’t want her. Also listing a lot of stuff you DON’T want can be offputting as well. If it’s kind of general and not too specific, it shows what you’re looking for, but if you’re like, “I HATE tattoos!” girls will think your ex also did a number on you, AND she was tattooed… and she doesn’t want a visual of your Kat Von D ex, ew.

– Also, if you JUST got out of a relationship, PLEASE don’t just onto online dating the second your relationship ended. It’s REALLY awkward. I’ll see guys that says, “I’m single now!” on their profile status, and that tells me you’re not looking for anything serious at all and you have baggage from your last girlfriend, who of course was crazy. They’re ALL crazy ex-girlfriends, right??? @_@ One time, I had a guy set up a date with me, only to cancel hours before the date because he just got out of a 2 year relationship a week ago. Like, REALLY??? So, don’t exclaim, “I’M SINGLE LADIES, COME AND GET IT!!!”, because that makes girls want to run in the other direction. You’re not a hot comodity and it’s kind of creepy and desperate.

Don’t write a resume. There’s no need to tell your WHOLE backstory, you can divulge a bit about where you grew up and the places you moved, but we don’t need to really go into great detail, that’s what the first date is for.

Don’t do a blank profile and no pictures. Either/or are a bad idea. Don’t write “I don’t know what to say….” and write nothing, or say, “I don’t like talking about myself” then go on to write a novel. Heh. Yeah right, it just shows you’re full of yourself when you pull that one. It’s all awkward for all of us, just skip the awkward part.

Things TO Do:

Be light hearted and funny! I always love profiles that are really funny, not too serious, but then I get a good picture of what kind of guy he is.

Say what you’re looking for. Don’t go on online dating expecting the girl wants the same thing as you, because there are huge spectrums of what people are looking for. If you want some “fun”, then say it. You won’t be wasting a girl’s time if she’s looking for something committed and you want to audition for the next “Bachelor”.

Talk about things you enjoy, and that will help girls be able to find something to talk about.

Be cute. It’s ok to be a little cute when describing what kind of girl you’re looking for like, “someone who likes to snuggle“. That’s darn cute, go for it.

What are your online dating strategies? Any questions? Shoot them in the comment section and I’ll answer them!

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11 thoughts on “Your Online Dating Profile: What Stays and What Must Go

  1. My buddy (that’s not code for me), is obsessed with online profiles. He writes ridiculous stuff on his all the time, and it never works. I will have to pass this on to him.

  2. Please let me add — if you are not in 100% incredible shape (think David Beckham or Daniel Craig in his swimsuit or whomever) and if you have any shred of hair that reaches your shoulders or back… PLEASE GENTLEMEN — DO NOT, under ANY circumstances post a shirtless picture!!! I saw one today of a guy taking a self portrait lying on his bed and the hair went from his chest over his shoulders… ummmmm…. I may be over 40, but… that’s really not gonna get me to respond to you. Maybe some women like it, but I’m guessing most don’t.
    And moobies are not a good thing. At any age.
    I’d rather see a man in a shirt and tie. Or just a shirt. Honestly.
    Just my two cents.

  3. Biggest pet peave: “I dont know what to write” really? You’re how old and you can’t thing of anything? It makes girls think “wow this guy is a loser with no ambition and nothing to say”

    1. Ugh, I hate that on women’s profiles too. “I hate writing about myself so ask me anything”. Yours will probably be the 30th I look at today and of those 30 I’ll message maybe 1 or 2. Am I going to waste time on messaging somebody to ask questions about them when there is nothing to reference?

      “Hi, your profile says nothing about you so I’m asking you to tell me about you to see if I might be interested in you before I send you a proper message referencing stuff we have in common.”

      Yes, like that is going to happen!

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